10 Quotes to Build Compassion and Engage in Social Emotional Learning
I sat in the back of my fourth-grade classroom grading math quizzes while a gifted guidance counselor delivered a lesson to my class. She displayed a quote and before I knew it, I found myself wiping tears from my eyes. The quote pierced me through the heart, delivering a truly life-changing lesson.
“Comparison is the thief of joy”
-Theadore Roosevelt-
At the time, I was still a very young teacher, and so often I felt disheartened at others success. When a colleague told me about something they were doing in their classroom, I automatically thought that what I was doing wasn’t enough. I also punished myself as a parent, looking at joyful posts from moms on social media and automatically thinking I needed to be doing more. This quote set me free from that.
As I continued to listen to the lesson, completely ignoring the math quizzes now, I heard my students relating their own experiences to the quote, saw them nod at one another in agreement, and tilt their heads as they considered one another’s different perspectives. I watched the connections between them deepen as they shared struggles in their own lives, the whole time seeing them more fully than I had before.
Discussing that quote had leveled up our classroom community and gave us a common language. It made each of us feel more connected, seen, and understood. Since then, I have been building in the use of quotes in intentional ways to build thriving classroom community based on trust, compassion, and understanding. Quotes can take your classroom community to the next level too.
Set the foundation for discussion.
Setting this routine during morning meeting sets the tone for thoughtful listening and connection throughout the day. Our class has committed to quotes on Tuesday and Thursday mornings and by mid-year a student facilitates these discussions. Students often choose the quotes.
We use the strategy “Fist and Fingers” so that students can call on one another. When someone has something to share, they raise a fist. Once they share, they call on someone else with a fist raised. When someone who has already shared wants to add more to the conversation, they hold up one finger indicating that they have already shared once. If they want to share again, the next time they would hold up two fingers indicating that they shared twice and so on. We always call fists before fingers with the goal of hearing as many different voices as possible.
As the teacher, I place myself on a level playing field by participating in fist and fingers with them so that they call on me. I share my own life and connections during this time just as I’m asking them to. I want to model the introspection and connection that I hope they gain from this experience and honestly I love how it alows me to learn and grow alongside them.
It is important to set the expectations for these types of discussions at the outset. It will most likely take practice and reminders for students to engage, but if the ground rules are established and maintained, and disruptions are met and enforced with compassion it will become a time that everyone in the class values.
Know that it is a brave thing to share something publicly.
Work to understand what the speaker is saying, not to react or to judge.
Honor each person’s talking turn by looking and listening to them fully
Respect the fact that we all want to be heard and understood
Once rules are established, the conversation simply starts by asking, “What do you think this quote means?”
10 Quotes to Define the Expectations of a Brave Learning Community
The following quotes are a few of my favorites to use throughout the year. They help us discuss the core values and beliefs that we strive to live into together.
1. “Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.”
-Winston Churchill-
If we are going to do the work of learning together, we will have to get comfortable being uncomfortable. Unpacking this quote with your class gives the perfect opportunity to discuss how courage can look different, and how we have choices in how we respond to what happens. Sharing examples and experiences of times that we did and didn’t push through will give important insight into our individual stories.
2. “Trust is choosing to make something important to you vulnerable to the actions of someone else.”
-Charles Feldman-
When building trust together it’s important to define what it actually means. Discussion of the above quote helps illuminate the role of vulnerability in trust, while opening the opportunity to find out what is important to others. Trust happens alongside bravery. Trust is an interchange that requires one sharing something they care about and the role of another to respect, honor, and support that bravery with care.
3. “Integrity is choosing courage over comfort; choosing what is right over what is fun, fast, and easy; and choosing to practice our values rather than simply professing them.
-Brene Brown-
Integrity is the cornerstone of a brave learning community; it is something that everyone will continuously practice. Often, kids and adults say things like “kindness matters,” but actions can be misaligned, motivated by what is fun, fast and easy. Digging into this quote with your class will help provide examples and scenarios that show the difference between saying something with your words versus living it with your actions.
4. “Fake it ‘till you make it.”
-Mary Kay Ash-
This simple quote is a lot to unpack. In our community it means to bravely try your best even if it’s not something you are completely confident in or excited about. It also means don’t complain even if something doesn’t sound fun. If you start something by “faking” that you like it, sometimes it turns out to be something you actually enjoy. It’s equally important though to discuss what it doesn’t mean. It does not mean to pretend you are okay when you’re not.
5. “When I have one week to solve a seemingly impossible problem, I spend six days defining the problem. Then, the solution becomes obvious.”
-Albert Einstein-
Rushing to finish something is ineffective yet is often enticing to students. Einstein’s words are ones that we come back to a lot during research projects and writing drafts. Teaching students to following a true line of inquiry takes time. The first information / learning students obtain is surface level. Deeper understanding takes time and a lot of thoughtful questions. This quote also ties in to dealing with personal conflicts, underscoring the need for getting curious and understanding perspectives first, before jumping to a conclusion.
6. “Some of the best lessons we ever learn, we learn from our mistakes and failures. The error of the past is the wisdom and success of the future.
-Tryon Edwards-
One of the most important parts of bravely learning is sharing our humanity. Humans make mistakes. The important thing is that we learn from both our own and from others’. Whether discussing conflicts with family and friends, precision errors in math, or the mistakes of our ancestors, we can learn to forgive ourselves and others, to lean into mistakes to uncover deeper truths, and to understand how to set boundaries for our own safety.
7. “Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.”
-Oscar Wilde-
Embracing ourselves for who we are is necessary for a successful community. It takes each and every one of our voices and perspectives to succeed. By celebrating the things that make us unique we allow everyone to be comfortable. Focusing on differences as a positive allows us to share our own stories and integrate them together as a team.
8. “Alone we can do so little. Together we can do so much.”
-Helen Keller-
Collaboration is key. Leveraging our different strengths allow us to work together to be smarter than we ever imagined. Whether connecting this quote to setting up classroom jobs, understanding that we all have areas of knowledge expertise, or contributing different personality strengths to a project. Discussion around the importance of working together, as well as key strategies for successful collaboration is necessary for success in school and beyond.
9. “We all need people who will give us feedback. That’s how we improve.”
-Bill Gates-
Creating a culture where feedback is integrated into learning will help everyone grow beyond what they imagined. Writers pay for critiques to help their stories get stronger and sports teams rely on coaches to give them targeted feedback to improve. Living and learning in the classroom is no different. Discussing this quote will allow for connections across multiple experiences and help set the tone for a community where feedback is not only expected but actually sought after.
10. “There are two ways to spread light, to be the candle, or the mirror that reflects it.”
-Edith Wharton
This powerful metaphor has so many possibilities. Perhaps your class takes the light to mean kindness, love, or truth. It could mean sharing your spirit or your individuality. This quote allows for so many interpretations, given space and time to unpack, this quote will illuminate and reflect the perspectives of the individuals in your classroom.
In any grade and in any point in the year, these quotes will allow your community to grow together. You will be surprised what will happen when you create space in your week to delve into discussion around these powerful quotes with your class.
